Bridging the Divide (A New Year's Resolution Story)

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Most mornings, I wake up, say a quick prayer, eat a bit of breakfast, then take my seat at the computer... usually, I end up staring at it for the rest of the day. My addiction to the internet has stolen a lot from my life ... it hasn't only been tearing me away from my homework - it's created a big rift between me and those who love me: my family, and my God. I freely admit to being a 'Web addict,' and somehow I manage to make almost no effort to change it - after all, it's so much more convenient to think of it as something outside of my control.

Today, I did something different - I went to talk to my mom first. We spend 3 hours of just plain enjoying each other's company for once. We managed to laugh a bit, debate a bit, even cry a bit, and I think we were both surprised at how much we had in common. We talked about subjects over which we had had huge arguments in the past, and were - well, at least, I was - astonished to see that we agreed after all - we only needed to give each other a little bit more space without judging or jumping to conclusions.

Since practically all my time I have at home is spent with my mom, people often assume that we must have the best relatioship in the world ... we have a great one, but I simply cannot count how many times I pull away, spending my time at this computer or elsewhere away from her, unwilling to give her a chance to love me, unwilling to show her how much she means to me.

My mom is the most amazing, strongest person. She has been through a lot of tough times, but they're no match for her. She's a wonderful, caring, loving mother and I can't tell you how great it was to be 'back' with her. It had been a long time since I last felt like she was my best friend.

I didn't make any resolutions this year, and I still don't feel the need to. I know what I'm going to do, and I don't have to write it down on paper on the first of January. I figured out my 'resolution' three days late, and I couldn't have had more fun learning it.

This year, I want to bridge the divide and be mommy's little girl again, just the way I was meant to be!

Happy 2008 ~

Love, Oksana