.

there is
a time to speak,



and a time
to fall silent.



we were meant to be
so much more than
noise.

As I watched this unfold, words and thoughts just welled up in me... it was like entering a poem or tiptoeing through a fairlytale. I love this view.

In just a few days, the view is going to change. We're relocating to a different part of the city... or, rather, a different spot in this part of the city. So, to commemorate its beauty, I'll share with you some snapshots I'd taken from my bedroom window at various times over the last two years. Enjoy... :)

Love, Oksana

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_____I love capturing God's sense of humour. :)

Do you see the puppy shape in that cloud? Click on it to see larger!

Hey everyone...

I've had serious blogging-block for the past few days, so I've decided to try something different. I downloaded a really great album by Christian indie artist Matthew Perryman Jones at Noisetrade.com (a site where independent Christian musicians offer their music for free to fans). It's an album that has really inspired me and made me think, so I've decided to write a series of posts inspired by each of the tracks on the CD, "Throwing Punches in the Dark." We'll see how it goes. :)

Meghan's Song

Baby, sleep in peace tonight
Angels bend to watch the sight
And may your dreams be sweet tonight
Dance the sky in sweet delight

And know I love you
I always will
It’s my favorite story
I have to tell

And Baby, let’s go far away
See this world that God has made
And know our hearts are in his hand
This lovely one who counts the sands...

Wow... now that I've actually posted the song, I'm not sure what to write. I guess I'll just share a few of the things that it makes me think about and feel:

PS. Here's a portrait of one of my past pets, a dancing ladybug! :)

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I don't really like the next shot. I had intended to get the fence into the picture, but, now that I look at it again, I really wish it weren't there. It spoils the beautiful greenery and light on the other side. I feel compelled to post it, though, because I think it speaks of looking past the bad, and trying to see the beauty in life. Cliched, I know. :)

At the same spot, I found this little guy... he would not stop weaving in and out of the fence, but stopped long enough for me to get this shot:

And I took a few contemplative, reflective pictures that I love, because they sort of describe my life these past few months. I'll let you decipher them yourselves, but I'd be interested in knowing how they make you feel. Perhaps I'll tell you in a later post what they mean to me.

Love, Oksana

I took this shot several days ago from my window. It's funny. I've lived here for 9 years, and somehow, in all that time, I managed to miss this view. Was it that I'd never stopped to look for long enough? Was it that I was always trying to capture something more "interesting" or "exciting"? Was I so jaded with the mundane that I never noticed the light, the branches, the sheer poetry of it all?

Sad, how we travel all around the world to see "better" nature and "better" architecture and "better" beauty, when we don't even notice the beauty in our own backyards.

Love, Oksana

I was reading Genesis today, about Noah and his ark, and the flood. Old stories that God is telling my to dig deeper into. As I read chapter 9, verse 16 -- "the rainbow shall be in the cloud, and I will look on it to remember the everlasting covenant between God and every living creature of all flesh that is on the earth" -- something hit me for the very first time. The rainbow, that little wonder of nature that has slipped into the commonplace and flits by, unnoticed, is God thinking of us. Not that God is ever not thinking of us, but isn't that a comforting think to know? At that very moment the rainbow appears, God is thinking of us. Just something to remember. :)

Speaking of storms, I'm going to share something I wrote for Writer's Craft this year; a descriptive piece. I cut out the beginning and most of the middle; hope you enjoy.

Love,
Oksy

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I am so grateful for my God, who tells us to be still.

… tear your curtains down
for sunlight is like gold.
and you better be you
and do what you can do
when you're walking on moon beams
staring out to sea…

- "Gold" by Interference



"I am very fond of sunsets. Come, let us go look at a sunset now."

"But we must wait," I said.

"Wait? For what?"

"For the sunset. We must wait until it is time."

At first you seemed to be very much surprised. And then you laughed to yourself. You said to me: "I am always thinking that I am at home!"

Just so. Everybody knows that when it is noon in the United States the sun is setting over France.

If you could fly to France in one minute, you could go straight into the sunset, right from noon. Unfortunately, France is too far away for that. But on your tiny planet, my little prince, all you need do is move your chair a few steps. You can see the day end and the twilight falling whenever you like . . .

"One day," you said to me, "I saw the sunset forty-four times!"

And a little later you added: "You know--one loves the sunset, when one is so sad . . ."

- from The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint Exupery


Yeah, sometimes I feel like the Little Prince, and I think I have to wait a long time before I see peace again ... then God reminds me that I only need to move forward a little - just a step at a time - to see the light once more. So I'll keep walking, keep walking, and God will keep the peace of twilight on this horizon...

Love, Oksana

Slowly, I'm learning to love writing again. I had given up on writing stories years ago - poetry, I dabbled in sporadically because it was shorter, quicker, and required no long-term commitment. But after a few amazingly fun Writer's Craft classes and after reading an incredible novel by my friend Natasha Poholka, I caught the writing bug at last. It's so much fun to put down thoughts and feelings on paper as you explore somebody else's life. It shapes you as a person, I think... when you ask yourself, how would you act in this situation, you get a good grip on what your values are. And you learn about how other people feel when they act in ways you wouldn't -- it really develops your sense of empathy. It's incredibly soothing to sit down and forget everything for a little while, and immerse myself in painting a picture with my pen.

I'm writing two short stories at the moment. One is set in the early 1800s, about a little girl named Analise who works as a servant for a cruel and abusive master. She does manage to find someone to love her in the end (I don't think I'm spoiling anything by saying that), but there are big twists in it which hopefully make it more than the generic Cinderella story. I will add it to FictionPress once I'm done.

The other story was actually inspired by a brainstorming activity we did in Writer's Craft. We had to create plots based around inanimate objects, and I got a lock, so I began to make up a story about a poor Mexican woman who lost everything in a house fire. (This was a day or two after that incredible story about the baby thrown out of a burning building in Germany, so fire was fresh on my mind). I actually managed to get a really good plot, which, upon revision, didn't involve a lock ... or a woman for that matter. It's about a young girl who emigrated from Mexico with her family to go to University in Toronto. I won't say much, since I like this one more than my Analise story, but after losing everything, she met Jason, a man who would change her life completely (and it's not a romantic relationship at all -- that should keep you guessing! :). Again, off it goes to FictionPress when I finish.

Love, Oksana

Finals are finally over, and I've got a few days off before Semester 2 begins. Life has been really strange for me since exam time started. I've had incredible blessings, I've had some pretty bad times as well. Many times, sadly, I traded God in for superficial things, only to com running back to him like the prodigal son who saw how empty his life had become. At the end of the day, I feel so blessed. I've experienced God's saving power, healing power, and "carrying power" -- he carried me unceasingly over the last few weeks.

I feel an incredible stillness and peace in the midst of this storm, a confidence that comes from knowing that God is stronger than this.

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Most mornings, I wake up, say a quick prayer, eat a bit of breakfast, then take my seat at the computer... usually, I end up staring at it for the rest of the day. My addiction to the internet has stolen a lot from my life ... it hasn't only been tearing me away from my homework - it's created a big rift between me and those who love me: my family, and my God. I freely admit to being a 'Web addict,' and somehow I manage to make almost no effort to change it - after all, it's so much more convenient to think of it as something outside of my control.

Today, I did something different - I went to talk to my mom first. We spend 3 hours of just plain enjoying each other's company for once. We managed to laugh a bit, debate a bit, even cry a bit, and I think we were both surprised at how much we had in common. We talked about subjects over which we had had huge arguments in the past, and were - well, at least, I was - astonished to see that we agreed after all - we only needed to give each other a little bit more space without judging or jumping to conclusions.

Since practically all my time I have at home is spent with my mom, people often assume that we must have the best relatioship in the world ... we have a great one, but I simply cannot count how many times I pull away, spending my time at this computer or elsewhere away from her, unwilling to give her a chance to love me, unwilling to show her how much she means to me.

My mom is the most amazing, strongest person. She has been through a lot of tough times, but they're no match for her. She's a wonderful, caring, loving mother and I can't tell you how great it was to be 'back' with her. It had been a long time since I last felt like she was my best friend.

I didn't make any resolutions this year, and I still don't feel the need to. I know what I'm going to do, and I don't have to write it down on paper on the first of January. I figured out my 'resolution' three days late, and I couldn't have had more fun learning it.

This year, I want to bridge the divide and be mommy's little girl again, just the way I was meant to be!

Happy 2008 ~

Love, Oksana

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"He makes his angels spirits,
his ministers, a flame of fire..."

- Ps. 104:4

Was taking the obligatory New Years sparkler photos yesterday night... not really knowing what I was doing - I'm still a total newbie with my 40D - I turned my shutter speed up and took tons of photos with which I was, for the most part, disappointed because the quick shutter speed had captured little dots instead of the streaming paths of sparks that I had wanted. However, a good rule of thumb for me is to always take a look at my photos in large size before deleting them, so that's what I did. And when I opened up this one, I was totally shocked: I could see a little angel within the flame, and it looked like it was sitting comforably and contemplating the universe with a shining face. I've showed it to about a dozen other people, and they can see it as well, so I know I'm not crazy! :)

This is such a percious glimpse into heaven for me. It reminds me of just how many angels there are sitting at the corners of the deep, dark universe; watching watching the whirling galaxies and forever reminding us that someday in heaven, we will see things far more beautiful than these so long as we believe.

Love, Oksana