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I watched the movie "Father of the Bride," the "old" version with Elizabeth Taylor, on Saturday. It was sweet and funny, but I felt a lot of things about it were misplaced. Weddings aren't supposed to tear families apart; they're supposed to bring two families together into one. As cheesy as the movie was, it filled me with a lot of questions. Isn't it selfish to get married when you know it's going to cause your parents pain? I can't even begin to count all the times that my parents sacrificed their happiness so that I could be happy. When I look back those incidents, I'm so ashamed.Like this one time at IKEA. I saw a green piggy bank that I really wanted. No, said my dad, firmly and kindly. I didn't take no for an answer. I threw a fit. I yelled and cried, telling my dad he didn't love me, accusing him of not caring about me, telling him I hated him. (I didn't 'get' the weight of the word "hate" until much later, and I regularly flung it at the people who cherished and loved me when I lost my temper). It went on for a while. I got my green piggy bank.
And I'm so ashamed to look at that stupid piggy-bank now. I don't even use it. It's an innocent toy that has been tainted with hatred and anger, and I regret having it. Can you imagine having an entire marriage tainted with those same kind of feelings?
Most people probably wouldn't be too hard on me over the IKEA thing -- I was just a small kid, after all. I'm much older now, and this is far behind me. Yeah, that's true. So why do people revert back to kicking, screaming, crying kids when they're about to do the most 'adult' thing of their lives -- get married? Years later, when they look back at what should have been the most beautiful day of their lives, they'll feel nothing but disgust and shame.
Anyways, there's my two cents. I see marriage as a journey of growth... a reaching of the potential God intended you to have, with the help of someone else. Not by using your spouse to become better, but rather, sharing your journey with them to help them grow as well. Marriage is supposed to make you better with your partner, not at their expense. So why should this journey come at the expense of your family; those who raised you? Isn't it natural that your loyalty should be, first and foremost, to them?
I like movies that make me think. With the cheesy, happy endings, and all. :)
Love,
Oksy
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